What seriously? On wheels...

I'm lately infatuated with the idea of becoming a roller derby girl. Nevermind the fact that I struggle to remove my girth from the office chair and suck wind at the sight of a gym. I've been going to matches for the last few years and I find them really rousing.

Currently I'm at the stage in the roller girl fantasy where I have begun to check out skates online and have been pondering potential names. Here is the short list thus far (not sure if any of these are already taken):

Editor in Chest
Bitter Betty
Woman Scorned
Dark Sally
Hair Puller
Wound Service
Hungry
Pain Baker
Chef Agony
Nomo Teeth
Mark Pain

Winner!

I spend far too much time thinking about possible strategies for contests that don't and probably shouldn't exist.

Case in point - Worst breath.

The chili cheese Fritos I'm eating now would probably add an edge - though the chili scent might be too pleasantly aromatic. Also - where most contestants would probably just huff at the judges noses right away - my thought is that I'd have a brief suck in as the judging was to begin to lull them in and perhaps lead them to actually sniff - right about the time I blow hot nastiness their way. Trophy to me.